Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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