ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
