WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
