I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
In America we eat man semen.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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