You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
