his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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