Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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