Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
