i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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