We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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