Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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