I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
