; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
