I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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