sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
