i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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