i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
