yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
