She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
