Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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