I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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