How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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