I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
