yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
