It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
