I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
