I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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