I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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