Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
