Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
