Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
