It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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