haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
