I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
