I just threw up on my dentist
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
