A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
