I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
