I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
