She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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