somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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