we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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