why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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