I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize