I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
