My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize