I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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