gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize