yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
