Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
