We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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