OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize