I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sisters under your porch take her home
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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