last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Panties = found
Randomize
