Buhtt sex?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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