i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
