Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
