I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
