Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
