I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I believe in your delicious
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
