i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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