Where did you get a picture of my penis
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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