Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
