No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
