youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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