That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
