this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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