Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
